"OUR" rules

(Notice that this is the first time I wrote in English!)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are "the rules" from the male side.
These are OUR RULES! Please note...
These are ALL numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You'r a big girl.
If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = hobbies.
It's the day for us men to get busy with our toys.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
- subtle hints do not work!
- strong hints do not work!
- obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
every question.

1. Come to us with problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Symphaty is what your girlfriens are for.

1. A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In facts, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you'r fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say, please say it during the commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, neither do we.

1. All men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it is itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you'r lying, but it is not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer, expect
an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thingking about, unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I'm in a shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.
But did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Oppinions, arguments, objections, anything ... ???
Just post comments, baby...